I think I am just a.....

The songstress, Lykke Li



Lykke Li feat. Drake & Mickey Factz - Little Bit (Remix)


[Lykke Li]
Hands down
I'm too proud, for love
But with eyes shut
It's you I'm thinking of

[Drake]
But how we move from A to B it can't be up to me
Cause you don't know who I was before you
basically, to see a change in me I'd be losing
So i just ignore you, yeah
(oh oho)
but you're on my mind, my mind, my mind, my mind, my mind
(oh oho)
but maybe in time, in time, in time
I'll tell you

A little bit, a little bit
a little bit in love with you
I guess that I'm a little bit, a little bit, a little bit in love with you
(oh oho)

[Drake]
I know you don't break their hearts
but it's you I wanna take apart
and I will never ever be the first, to say it
but still I, they know I, ah hah hah

[Lykke Li]
I would do it
Push a button
Pull a trigger
Climb a mountain
Jump off a cliff
Cause you know baby I love you, love you
with a little bit

I would do it
You'd say it
You'd mean it
I would let you do it
It was you and I and I only
Ha hmm, I think I'm,

A little bit, little bit,
a little bit in love with you
But only if you're a little bit,
Little bit, little bit,
In la-la-la-la-love with me

[Mickey Factz] (skipped his verse)

[Lykke Li]
A little bit, a little bit
A little bit in love with you
But only if you're...
A little bit, a little bit, little bit
in la-la-la-la love with me

Think of...

A little bit, a little bit
A little bit in love with you
But only if you're...
A little bit, a little bit, little bit
in la-la-la-la love with me

I think of...

A little bit, a little bit
A little bit in love with you
But only if you're...
A little bit, a little bit, little bit

A little bit, a little bit, little bit
A little bit, a little bit, little bit

During my lunch break I wrote.....

(The note I wrote on my phone)

Fri, Jan 9, 10:31am

It's an overwhelming feeling. I don't know where it came from but it's here now. It haunts me, a little bit here and a little bit there. I did not choose this feeling for you, it chose me and I don't know what to do. This feeling mixed with uncertainty is one I'm not used to liking or to have. I won't fight it though......

(Now I will continue it.)

I will not fight it because it will be a lie to deny how I feel. I will embrace it all, the good and bad of what comes with this instinct, this feeling, this attraction I have for you. But first of all and it's the most important, I do truly care for you and it wasn't planned out, or being common sense or just plain logical. I care, because I just do and I realized it when you were away.

I want you to know this, you deserve to know that there's someone in your life that cares enough about you. At least it's coming from a friend who will say it in this way and means it fully. I hope you understand that at least.

Leave out all the rest.....

So it's been awhile..... again been busy lately with work, and catching up with calgary people.

Anyways, TORONTO. My last post I said I was gonna have my trip to Toronto as the topic for this one. So here we go........

At the time it had been 11 months since my last visit in Dec. 2007. Things have changed so much for me (here in Calgary) and I was mindful of that before leaving for my trip. I still had questions on my mind about my former life there and questions about my future. Mainly the one question stood out and it was, "If Toronto was still in my future?" Those questions needed to be answered and I found it was great timing to go find out.

Originally I decided to go in November because of family issues and how it seemed my mother was under a lot of stress to the point the doctors told her enough was enough and she was on stress leave. That happened in September but realistically I couldn't just leave, I couldn't afford to go because I just came back from San Francisco the month before. So I decided November was the best opportunity for me to go.

Now, a few days before leaving had a lot of drama in my life. A lot like fucking THE HILLS kind of drama in my life. So trippin' to Toronto was at it's utmost welcoming destination ever (hahaha). I will not go into so much of the details but will describe how I felt during and after when I got back. Any questions I had were answered, any other unfinished business was finished and when the smoke cleared I knew the answer.

It may be because of that trip being my third visit, therefore "the third time's the charm". Well it seemed to be true for me. How I felt about some interests previously, how I felt about some friends and my future all now put into perspective......

1ST TRUTH:
I live in Calgary, I don't believe in long distance relationships = Therefore I cannot be dating someone long distance.

EXPANDING ON THE 1ST TRUTH:
I stopping having feelings for certain individuals a long time ago. Definitely going back those feelings weren't there when I was there. (More to elaborate, but it goes with my analysis for the city of Toronto).

2ND TRUTH:
I moved away, I CHOSE to move away. My friends, percived them to be happy that I was back but they couldn't take my honest opinions of how I feel about my life now and life back when I was in Toronto.

EXPANDING ON THE 2ND TRUTH:
Friends were happy to see me, but would ask if I just move back. That I have been in Calgary long enough now. Some of them still don't really understand why I did it. A test on my patience but for me I took offense because it seem they don't support me, where if it was turned around I would support them in anything they thought would better themselves.

3RD and FINAL TRUTH:
Toronto is not my home anymore. Toronto in my mind was a place I just happen to live for 21 years of my life. Sure it was great. But I wouldn't call it my home now.

EXPANDING ON THE 3RD and FINAL TRUTH:
Calgary is my home. Whether or not it's my home in 2 to 3 years still remains to be seen. Otherwise I can say from my heart I belong here, and no where else. So with that, my friends, and interests alike, I have to say my life here is exactly that. Toronto life is no concern of mine, I have my own concerns in Calgary.

Keeping in touch with people is what I try to do at least with family. My family comes first. Plus I'm 25 and this is what life throws at us. Everyone around my age is now doing their own thing or at least should be. I have no interest starting a long distance relationship. I have to make that clear. I'm not gonna lie though, if people have been suspecting then it doesn't take much to dicipher what I'm saying.

I have moved on with my life, like others should do. I have changed so much and I can tell from my friends there. I love them all but we don't click like we used to. My closest friends it wasn't like that at all, it's like we fell back into groove. That's a feeling right there I could tell they are, and will always be my closest friends.

CONCLUSION:
At the end I am my own person. I have no time for anything else but what I want and need in my life here in Calgary. I don't have to explain myself but I still do because it's for my friends, it will be the last time I will address this in this type of context. If you take offense, then take it. I don't care really, truely and honestly because if you don't get it, you don't get me. But we are only human and miscommunication is definitely something that happens. Maybe in time you'll get me but whatever I probably have moved on again hahaha.

So to summarize, Toronto trip was good to visit, not to live. I like it in Calgary and I'm staying.

Bye to interests, (I hope you all find what you're looking for).

To my friends, get the fuck out of Toronto and see what else the world has to offer. SERIOUSLY YOU NEED TO! Stop this bullshit of it being stagnant there and not doing anything about it. Open your mind, and you're open to grow!

To my family and close friends. Thank you for understanding me now, thanks for the love and support, I miss you guys all the time and you're in my heart and soul and in my prayers. God bless you all.

After this I am a little bit wiser, older, stronger and better for it. I hope all the best for 2009 and to another 18 months in Calgary. I look forward to what's ahead. PAYCE!!!!!